Eggs Benedict and Self Worth

by Libby

 

Breakfast is my favourite meal so I always pay pretty close attention to the substantial breakfasts that Gamache and his team relish during their investigations. None is more popular than Eggs Benedict -- yes, I've counted! And one, in particular, was quite a revelation for the new found camaraderie between Jean-Guy Beauvoir and Agent Yvette Nichol. Who would have thought?

His old self had despised Agent Yvette Nichol, but this morning he found himself quite liking her and not quite remembering what had been the problem. They’d had breakfast together at the B&B and ended up laughing hysterically at her description of trying to warm up his hot water bottle. In the microwave. ‘Sure you find it funny,’ said Gabri, plopping two Eggs Benedicts in front of them. ‘You didn’t come home to find what looked like the cat exploded in the micro. Never liked the cat. Loved the hot water bottle.’ (Dead Cold/A Fatal Grace, Kindle, p.255) 

Perhaps even more surprising was what transpired the previous night, when Agent Nichol attentively nursed Jean-Guy as he languished with the flu. Wasn't this taking things a little too far in her efforts to inveigle herself back on the team? Weren't we all puzzled by such out-of-character, generous behaviour? The sense of it was revealed much later.

She’d felt something for Beauvoir, that night when she’d nursed him, and the next morning when they’d breakfasted together. Not a crush, really. Just a sort of comfort. A relief, as though a weight she never even knew she was carrying had been lifted. (Dead Cold/A Fatal Grace, Kindle, p.372)

Yvette Nichol makes for quite a study. In Dead Cold/A Fatal Grace, Louise Penny reveals just what a layered character she has created. Nichol is not so easily dismissed as a troublesome, unlikable bugbear. At the heart of it all is self worth. It's hard for her to have much when she has struggled with her sense of belonging through her childhood. She has grown up with the criticisms and disapproval of her mother's family ringing in her ears, and is trapped by the expectations of her father and the burden of guilt and shame that her family carries.

Her father exhorts her, 'Don't mess up.' Hard to really value yourself as a person, when you have your father's admonitions constantly repeated. Nichol's worth seems to be based on living up to his expectations and getting his approval. He has done her no favours by catching her up in his own web of lies, failings and dependency. Little wonder she has built barriers between herself and others. She has learned to isolate herself, being defensive or resentful, using blame as her coping mechanism.

 

As Amy said in an earlier post 'the shields we erect can sometimes distance and harden us'.  Yvette Nichol is a case in point. Who is there in her life to reassure her, who she will trust, who values her for herself? No surprise that she is unable to rise above her fear of failing and sabotages herself with her negativity and lack of trust and hope. She 'wears', an attitude like she wears her clothes and keeps her appearance -- badly. There's a measure of self-loathing at work.

On reflection, there are probably few people who haven't felt isolated at some point in their life and channeled a bit of 'Yvette Nichol'. Somehow we need to be mindful of our own unique strengths and talents and inherent value, and not measure self worth against what other people can do, or how we meet other people's expectations. I know sometimes I have to practise being kinder to myself and less negative. It's important to remind ourselves how we contribute to our family, community and society (even in small ways), and of our capacity for generosity and compassion.  And pause to reflect on how we encourage and value others for their unique qualities and strengths, which goes a long way to building their self worth too.

The moment we all had to feel some empathy for Yvette Nichol was surely the trauma of hearing, 'She's not worth it'. And this from Beauvoir! That was pretty shocking but in his defence he was in the throes of a terrifying panic as some of his own childhood demons were unleashed. What a brutal reality for Yvette Nichol to face; she wasn't worth the risk of saving from a burning building.  It is something of an epiphany for her, though. When she is saved, she can finally tell herself she matters.

‘I’m worth it, I really am,’ Nichol had said, slobbering and weeping and grabbing at him. I’m worth it. Gamache didn’t know why, but it gave him pause. (Dead Cold/A Fatal Grace, Kindle, p.328)

Gamache, who has strongly doubted her trustworthiness, has an epiphany of sorts himself as Nichol reveals the burden of her family's past. He is prepared to take another gamble (for pretty high stakes) and invest in her. Isn't it in our imperfections and weaknesses that true character lies? There is always more to be discovered.

'There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in'.

This is what Gamache so wisely recognises, thanks also to Clara and her insightful painting.

When we leave Nichol  in Dead Cold/A Fatal Grace, we're still left with some doubts about her. Well she's not going to change overnight, is she? She is still 'scalded and burned' by recent events.

I like to think that down the track there will be other breakfast opportunities for Yvette Nichol, full of camaraderie. There is hope!

So, back to breakfast. Eggs Benedict elevates any breakfast or brunch to another level. But why go to all that trouble without spreading the delight? It's the perfect dish to share with others.

When it came to making Eggs Benedict, it was the poaching of those damned eggs that sparked a fear of failure in me...'I won't mess up'! I've always liked poached eggs but mostly avoid cooking them because I've never mastered how to prevent the egg white from racing away from the yolk and breaking up into a thousand untidy bits bobbing all over the surface of the water. Doesn't make for an appetising presentation!

Well, I should have just researched 'perfect egg poaching' a lot sooner. Correct technique is everything! This video debunks a few poaching myths and gives a foolproof method, and a nod to the British chef Heston Blumenthal. I am now the queen of egg poaching -- my life is complete!

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/04/foolproof-poached-eggs-food-lab-recipe.html

A beautiful thick, glossy hollandaise sauce to smother those poached eggs is not a difficult thing to make either. The classic version is quite simply a warm emulsion of egg yolks and melted butter, flavoured with lemon juice and seasoned with salt and white pepper. Many chefs and cooking writers favour the addition of a vinegar reduction to the mix, to make the flavour of the hollandaise a little more complex. And some heat the butter to make beurre noisette a golden, nutty flavoured butter. I've tried it all!

At the heart of this meal are the eggs. Freshness is key, but so is knowing that the hens providing the eggs are treated with respect (there are many that are not). This means free ranging hens with plenty of green pick at their disposal. And we're rewarded with brilliant orange yolks and a tastier egg.

Here's Heston Blumenthal's complete take on Eggs Benedict. It's 'edifying' the way he simply arms us with the science of cooking and technique.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-RHFu0WnZ4

Eggs Benedict

hollandaise sauce

2-4 large, very fresh, free range eggs for poaching

sour-dough grainy bread, lightly toasted

fresh flat-leaf parsley, shredded

Hollandaise sauce

200g/7oz unsalted butter, cubed

2 extra large, free-range egg yolks

1 tablespoon of vinegar reduction, if used

half a fresh lemon

sea salt, white pepper

Vinegar reduction

1 sliced shallot

1/2 cup of white vinegar

6-8 white pepper corns, cracked

Hollandaise process

1.  Melt the butter over a low heat and allow it to cool. Alternatively you can make a beurre noisette, which is what I did. Heat the butter over medium heat until it sizzles and the milk solids turn brown. Watch it carefully so the solids don't burn - it can happen very quickly. Pour off the liquid, leaving the solids behind. I poured it through a paper coffee filter.

2.  Make the vinegar reduction. Gently heat the shallot, vinegar and cracked white peppercorns in a small saucepan until the liquid is reduced to a third. Strain and cool.

3.  Place the egg yolks and a tablespoon of vinegar reduction (if using) in a bowl over a saucepan half filled with barely simmering water. The bottom of the bowl must not make contact with the water. Whisk continually by hand until the yolks thicken. It takes a bit longer with the vinegar reduction. The heat must be very gentle so that the yolks don't become grainy or scramble.

4.  Very gradually, a tiny trickle at a time, whisk in the melted butter/beurre noisette. Each trickle must be fully absorbed by the yolks before adding more. Remove from the heat. The sauce should be thick and glossy. Add a squeeze of lemon juice, salt and white pepper to taste. Keep the hollandaise over lukewarm water, while you poach the eggs.

Egg poaching

1.  Heat a saucepan of water, with a teaspoon of salt, to 80C/175F and maintain that temperature.

2.  Place a cracked egg in a fine mesh strainer, allowing any thin egg white to strain off. Gently pour the egg in to the water and cook for 4 minutes. Repeat the process.

I served up each egg on the toasted sour dough bread, seasoned them and gave them a generous covering of hollandaise and a sprinkle of parsley. I had planned to accompany them with some smoked salmon slices, but it was such a complete meal I settled just for salad to balance out the richness of the dish.

I simply made it with leaves, herbs and flowers from the garden; lettuce leaves, rocket/arugula (leaves and flowers) coriander, chervil, sorrel, kale, nasturtium, calendula (pot marigold). Dressed with a little extra virgin olive oil, a squeeze of lemon juice and a grind of black pepper, it was a pretty companion.

Leftover Hollandaise sauce can be gently warmed (It should never be hot) and served over poached Atlantic salmon or other fish, with a sprinkling of fresh parsley and chives. It's also delicious with steamed vegetables, particularly asparagus.