by Amy
“Sitting heavily in one of the leather wing chairs of the St-Laurent Bar, Chief Inspector Gamache asked for a glass of water […] getting to his feet and putting down a hundred dollars for the water and the use of the quiet table by the fireplace.”
Louise Penny wrote an elegant and
delicately woven book in BURY YOUR DEAD.
In the early books, Gamache and
Beauvoir are usually together. Beauvoir is Gamache’s right hand man and their
different outlooks and styles compliment and contrast each other.
In BURY YOUR DEAD they are apart.
Both are grieving. Both use cases as distractions and coping mechanisms while
they deal with what happened. Both remember. We learn about the tragic outcome
in the factory as they sort through their memories, share bits and pieces with
others, or listen to the voices in their heads.
“Are you going to watch?” Beauvoir asked.Gamache thought. “Yes. You?”“Maybe.” He also paused. “Yes.” There was a silence as both men considered what that meant. “Oh, God,” sighed Beauvoir.“When you do, don’t be alone,” said Gamache.“I wish-““So do I,” said Gamache. They both wished the same thing. That if they had to relive it, they could at least be together.”
It is here, when they spend time
away from each other, that the bond between them becomes even more evident. It
is our awareness of their closeness that makes their estrangement, in the next books,
so poignant.
The entire book goes back and
forth between them. While they try to heal, we are allowed to peek into their
memories and, slowly, we are shown what happened at the factory. In the
meantime, we see Gamache help out in a new case, interacting with his mentor
Émile, and we watch as Beauvoir reworks an old case, without his own mentor at
his side.
Beauvoir is not Gamache. I don’t
think any of us would like him to be.
In BURY YOUR DEAD Louise Penny
shows us how important choices are. There is foreshadowing. We watch as the two
men are faced with similar situations and, because of their backgrounds,
personalities, and choices, they act differently.
Gamache once told Agent Nicole:
“We choose our thoughts. We choose our perceptions. We choose our attitudes. We may not think so. We may not believe it, but we do. I absolutely know we do. I’ve seen enough evidence, time after time, tragedy after tragedy. Triumph over triumph. It’s about choice.” (Still Life)
And so it is.
Thoughts. Perceptions. Attitudes.
“And there were always choices to make. Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which become the plaything of circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity to become molded into the form of the typical inmate.” (MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING – Viktor Frankle)
Not long after their phone
conversation and their admission that they would have liked to watch the video together,
we are shown how hurt and betrayed Gamache feels because of the choice Émile,
his mentor, made in the case at hand.
“What’s happened?” Émile asked, seeing the look on Gamache’s face.”Gamache hesitated. For the first time in his life he was tempted to lie to this man who had lied to him.”
It’s eerie. In the next book, it
is the video that triggers a feeling of abandonment in Beauvoir. He has many
opportunities to confront Gamache, to question him, to give him the chance to
explain himself. He doesn’t choose to do any of those things in A BEAUTIFUL
MYSTERY. Not that there was any accusation to be made, but our feelings don’t
always align with facts and aren’t always reasonable. Beauvoir is no exception.
While he knew Gamache had to find
Morin, he still felt left behind.
“You lied to me,” said Gamache.“It was just half an hour.“It was more than that and you know it. You made a choice, chose a side.”“A side? Are you saying the Champlain Society is on a different side than you?”“I’m saying we all have loyalties. You’ve made yours clear.”Émile stared. “I’m sorry, I should never have lied to you. It won’t happen again.”
Thoughts. Perceptions. Actions.
Gamache and Émile interpreted
things differently. When Gamache chose to explain his interpretation of Émile’s
lie, he gave his mentor a glimpse into how he felt and what that half an hour,
apparently insignificant, meant to him. Even as he confronts him about that –
and other, worse lies – Gamache is giving his friend an opportunity to know how
he feels.
In the next book, Beauvoir’s pain
is palpable. He doesn’t make Gamache privy to his feelings. He doesn’t confront
Gamache. He reminds me a bit of a teenager who cannot come to grips with the
fact that their parents – who were once their heroes – are, in fact, only
human. Beauvoir oscillates between justifying Gamache in his own mind, and feeling
an enormous pain of abandonment. He sways back and forth from guilt to blame.
He cannot find middle ground. I can’t help feeling that if he’d only just
broken down and TOLD his mentor all would have been well... But then the story
wouldn’t be half as good, would it?
“Émile stared, stricken, but said nothing.Gamache turned and strode down the long corridor, his phone buzzing again and his heart pounding.“Wait, Armand,” he heard behind him but kept walking, ignoring the calls. Then he remembered what Émile had meant to him and still did. Did this one bad thing wipe everything else out?”
Sigh.
Thoughts. Perceptions. Actions.
Choices.
“That was the danger. Not that betrayals happened, not that cruel things happened, but that they could outweigh all the good. That we could forget the good and only remember the bad. But not today. Gamache stopped.”
Can’t you just see Beauvoir making
a similar choice? What if, instead of getting on that helicopter with
Francoeur (in The Beautiful Mystery), he had chosen to stay with Gamache? What if they had finally watched
that video together? What if Gamache had confided his suspicions and his plans?
Again: Beauvoir is not Gamache. I
wouldn’t want him to be. I have a soft spot for Beauvoir. Like the ladies
eating their post-exercise scones, I too have a crush on him. While I would
have liked for him to make the same kind of choice as Gamache, I realize
Beauvoir’s actions are probably closer to what most of us would do in similar
circumstances.
When Viktor Frankl tells of the
experiences prisoners went through in concentration camps, he talks about
choices and about those who rise above circumstances and are models of
resilience. They are the exception. Not the rule. Just as Gamache is an
exeption in behavior, time and again.
“Of the prisoners only a few kept their full inner liberty and obtained those values which their suffering afforded, but even one such example is sufficient proof that man’s inner strength may raise him above his outward fate.” (MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING – VIKTOR FRANKL)
To rise above our outward fate. What
a great goal.
Gamache is not naïve. He isn’t
unaware of cruelty, betrayal, pain, or evil in the world. He couldn’t be. Not
in his line of work. He has the strength of character necessary to rise above
his outward circumstances, and the faith it takes to see and show grace and
love and forgiveness in the light of suffering. That is why the Chief Inspector
is such a wonderful role model.
“In his [Gamache] pocket he felt the bottle of pills. His hand went to it, closing over it.He closed his eyes.Then taking his empty hand from his pocket he started calling the officers who’d survived, and the families of those who hadn’t. He talked to their mothers, their fathers, their wives and a husband. In the background he could hear a young child asking for milk. Over and over he called and listened to their rage, their pain, that someone could release a video of this event. Not once did they blame him, though Armand Gamache knew they could.”
[…]
“Before he [Beauvoir] left he went into the washroom and splashed cold water onto his face. He looked into the reflection and saw there a man far older than his thirty-eight years. Drawn and tired. And not wanting to do what came next.He felt an ache deep down.Bringing the pill bottle out of his pocket he placed it on the counter and stared at it. Then pouring himself a glass of water he shook a pill into his palm. Carefully breaking it in half he swallowed it with a quick swig.”
These scenes echo in my mind.
Time and again we see Beauvoir in a similar situation and succumbing where the
Chief did not. It’s easy to judge and say he should have chosen differently. It
isn’t hard to make excuses and say he didn’t have his mentor’s support system, maturity
or wisdom. It's easy to justify that they had different wounds and different pain - both physical and emotional.
“Those who see the heart only as a place of weakness will be fearful of their own hearts. For them, the heart is a place of pain and anguish, of chaos and of transitory emotions.” (BECOMING HUMAN – Vanier)
It’s true. He should have chosen
differently. While there are other factors involved, addiction involves a
choice at some point. He didn't make the best choice. And it is also true that he
had neither the self-assurance, nor the wisdom of his mentor. He didn’t have
Gamache’s faith in grace. It doesn’t excuse his choice, but it might help
explain it. Beauvoir still has a long road to travel before he learns to deal
with his heart, his vulnerability, and, ultimately, his inner strength. It’s a
beautiful journey, though. I’m glad we were invited to come along. “Things are strongest when they’re broken,” is
a recurring phrase in the Chief Inspectors memories of Paul Morin. Beauvoir is
a stronger – and better – man in the later books. And yes, I still have a crush
on him.
“Man is not fully conditioned and determined but rather determines himself whether he gives in to conditions or stands up to them. In other words, man is ultimately self-determining. Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment.” (MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING – Viktor Frankl)
Thoughts. Perceptions. Actions.
Choices.
If we realize how much of an
impact the interpretation we spin on life affects our
actions, we might consciously learn to determine it.
We have a choice in how we perceive the world around us. We have a choice
regarding what we let our thoughts dwell on. We are not in complete control of
our fate, but our choices help shape our lives and our future.
We cannot control what others do
or say. We can choose how we react. We frequently cannot control the conditions
in our lives. Sometimes we have a choice in promoting a change in our
circumstances. Sometimes we can make a choice in how we change ourselves in
order to handle what life has given us.
I am frequently teased about
being a “Pollyanna”. I’m not an optimist. Far from it. I tend to be very
critical and am not unaware of problems, pain, or sorrow. Pollyanna did have an
impact in my life, though. Both the book and the movie are probably indelibly
engraved in my psyche. As I grew up, I began to do it ever more consciously. It’s
become a habit. A good one, I think. Although I’m still very much a work in progress.
“Merci.”Émile paused, taken by surprise. “What for?”“For not leaving me.”Émile reached out and touched Gamache on the arm, then clicked the button and the video started to play.”
Again there are echoes. Gamache
chose to confront his mentor and, ultimately, to forgive a lie that he
relegated to a small portion in the whole of who his mentor was to him. He had
his old mentor at his side when he watched the video. The one thing he thanks
Émile for is the one thing that Beauvoir later feels Gamache himself had once failed to do.
Thoughts. Perceptions. Actions.
Choices.
I pray that we all are blessed
with grace. I pray that we find the strength to change that which can be
changed, to confront and forgive when needed, and to understand our plight or
at least find meaning, so we can not only endure, but raise ourselves above our
fate.
I should drink more water. We
should probably all drink more water. I have a little bush in my backyard that
has citrus-scented leaves. I like to add them to a water jug and it gives a
faint citrus taste to my water.
Unless stated otherwise all quotes
are from BURY YOUR DEAD
